I’m praying for goodbye, because I cannot live the lie.
The world goes past as normal, as I’m looking at this guy.
I feel that I can never be a player in this game,
I am losing so far and it’s stinking of the pain.
I look to institutions for support I lacked at home,
but I see rejections so I’m better off alone.
I really do not see the point of picking up the phone,
to ask the help of someone with bad attitude and tone.
I think they must have taken tips from all of my abusers,
they don’t behave much differently to any of those losers.
That hurts me more than any punch from someone I adored,
it seems I am a figure in a game in which they scored.
There’s no point in a court case, which will sicken me with trauma,
cross examined, disbelieved and questioned on the former.
The opposition lawyer is annoyed with honest answers,
I see it in his face, because I’m not one of his chancers.
What a stupid thing to say, that ‘honesty will win’
I’ve never found that to be true, with all this badgering.
That dirty sleazy criminal will come out gleaming white,
and I emerge exhausted, after such a dreadful fight.
It seems to be a waste of life, spent tortured day and night,
but my sense of injustice has remained my shining light.
