'Swap Genders' Poetry Paperback. €5.00

75 poems about general life, sexuality, and humour!

'Escape' Poetry Paperback. €5.00

32 poems about abuse in all its forms; mental, physical and sexual.

What Home Is

Home is where the heart is,

and where each brand new start is.

For plans and dreams and pain,

with everything to gain.

A haven for the brain,

to keep you safe and sane.

For peace of mind and happiness,

and shelter from the rain.



copyright@emmasharn2010

Weirdo

Oh weirdo knocking on my door, you rang my bell five times before.

Late at night, before lunch hour, no privacy, you take my power.

Too afraid to tell you no, instead I wait for you to go.

I nod and smile, I’m too polite, you take advantage of my plight.

I do not know how to say, ‘oh you weirdo go away!’


copyright@emmasharn2010

Unwanted Gift

Somebody has given me a present I don’t want,
before they guess what I am thinking, I put on a front.
Now I have to smile, and look so grateful when I'm not
especially because it’s free, and I don’t have a lot.
It is really useless and I wish I could return it,

my house is full of clutter, it would make more sense to burn it.
I’m too scared to pass it on, in case it gets discovered,
I would rather die than let my secret be uncovered.
The value of our friendship is much greater than the truth,
besides if they found out, I’d be afraid they’d hit the roof.



copyright@emmasharn2010

Tour Guide

I’m a nice lady who works as a guide, in this tourist place.
You wouldn’t look twice if you think I’m nice, but I can show my nasty face.
I have a plan, assertive I am, I’ll tell you ‘No cameras in here.’
I’ll get the result that you want to bolt, my manner makes you shed a tear.
I have such power, at you I will glower, authority does make me high,
if I am firm then maybe you’ll learn, my manner is far from shy.


I cannot be nice with eyes like ice, as I angrily storm your way,
using bad tone as I dig with my bone, I like to ruin your day.
I add sarcasm to kill the orgasm, of you enjoying this place,
only you know how I let myself show, as I am rude to your face.
It’s not about photos not being allowed, I know you don’t mean any harm,
but it made me feel good like no staff ever should,
to spoil your mood with this charm.


Treating you like a child, I’ll drive you wild, by snatching your dignity,
now you won’t come back for fear of attack,
I should have been nice and just smiled.
You cannot say that you had a nice day, my malice flew round in your head,
I was so mean, now you’re not very keen,
the thought of it fills you with dread.


copyright@emmasharn2010

The Queen Bee

The Queen Bee of the office, is employed to tell you ‘No’.
The second you are seen, you are assessed as friend or foe,
you will not be spared, if you don’t take the hint and go.
Everything you say, she does her utmost to ignore,
God help you if you’re adamant, and try to argue more.
Obviously you have never met her kind before,
she takes a step towards you, pushing you back through the door.

Don’t mess with the Queen Bee, she’s more powerful than you,
with a veneer of politeness she assumes you won’t see through.
She stares at you in silence, hoping to intimidate,
and then repeats her answer ‘No,’ till you run for the gate.
Even when you prove her wrong, she tries hard to deny it,
her job is to wear you down, make you feel like an eejit.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Sum Story

Oh maths is really not a joke,

I strained my brain until it broke.

My brain is like a one-way street,

but new ideas I have to meet.

From this black hole I won’t retreat,

I will not admit defeat.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Spectacles

My glasses are spectacular, don’t you think?
Before I got them, I couldn’t see a wink.
It made me start to wonder, how they ever got invented
by some poor sod who couldn’t see, and that drove him demented.

So he stared in sorrow at his glass cup in the morning,
held it up into the light, as he screamed out a warning,
‘I am gonna throw this, I am sick of being blind!’
and hesitated just as it had crossed his clever mind,
that this glass was the cure for sight,
the technique he must find.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Snob

You are so judgemental; you take me for a fool
you think I’m not intelligent, if I’m not from your school.
If I was, then you would give me much more dignity
that wouldn’t be worth anything, for how you treated me.

I saw your true colours, when you thought I was beneath you
so now I’m on your level, I demand that you continue.
Attitude is everything, and so is honesty,
so if you can’t do either one, you won’t get through to me.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Smoking

I’d love to give up smoking, but I cannot stand the pain.
I quit fags for a minute and then I go insane,
so I feel like a failure when I need to smoke again.
I block my ears to people who have given up so far,

I try not to imagine how my lungs are full of tar.
Out of sight is out of mind, it’s me who bears the scar.
I’ll stop when I am ready, I will gather strength again.
I know that it will happen, so it doesn’t matter when.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Shame on You

Shame on you for being mean and spoiling peoples’ day,
showing such bad attitude after tourists pay.
You stormed across the floor to me as if it was a race,
not content with being firm, you glare right in my face.
Your manner was quite hostile as you snapped ‘No cameras here’
using a bad tone of voice, controlling me with fear.

You didn’t just inform me that no photos are allowed,
you reprimanded me as if I was a naughty child.
It was so demeaning, I was really quite put down,
and then you were sarcastic, which really made me frown.
Why couldn’t you just tell me of the policies in place,
what did you need to prove by showing such a nasty face?

It wasn’t very welcoming to be attacked this way,
it spoiled my enjoyment, I was having a nice day.
I feel that as a tourist I am really being used,
as after I have paid the fee, I’m just getting abused.
You won’t gain in the future, I won’t let you do this twice,
you would have got more custom, if you had been nice.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Scumbag

I am a scumbag and I am a leech,
I come prepared with my little speech.
I’ve no self respect and I have none for you,
show me some kindness that I’ll misconstrue.

My best card is the sympathy vote,
I get you to weaken from being a goat.
I’ll cross all the boundaries that you have set,
teach you a lesson that you won’t forget.

I suggest actions that I make you take,
crossing me might be your biggest mistake.
Don’t call my bluff because I’ll fall apart,
I’ll have to begin the same game from the start.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Scrounger

I am a scrounger, and I am a cheat,
I cannot budget, so I’m on the street.
I won’t change my ways, I go begging instead
alienate all of the people I led.
It’s not a question of whether I’m fed,
how I am broke is a question I dread.

I make you feel that you have to give,
taking advantage, so that I can live.
I’m not always humble, at times I’m a pig,
I have no shame, and at you I will dig.
I ask you now why you won’t donate,
even though it’s not my right to dictate.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Pub Owner

I’m a pub owner, and I’m your best friend,
the minute you’re broke, our friendship will end.
On alcohol I will make sure you depend,
I dictate how much you will spend.

I listen to stories, and smile and pretend,
even though you’re driving me round the bend.
To feed your addiction means profit to me,
beyond euro coins, no more do I see.
I am everyone’s local drug dealer,
I may put you in need of a healer.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Prude

Just because you are a prude, don’t try to censor me
I’ve had enough of watching your superiority.
Why do you expect my thoughts to be the same as yours?
I’ve had a different life to you, including all it’s wars.
Who are you to judge me, you have never seen my shoes!
Let alone step into them, of course you cannot lose.
It must be very easy for you, looking down at me,
when I have hit the floor of life, and you are floating free.

The next time that you judge me, and assume I’m being crude
listen to the point I make, you’ll find that it’s not rude.
Some things need to be described, in words quite loud and clear
otherwise it’s lukewarm, and the point does not come near.
It’s me who is the artist, only I can think my thoughts
no-one else can write them for me, when I’m out of sorts.
In any case, I do not read them out for your approval,
and I really do not give a damn, if you think I’m a fool.

The only thing I care about is being who I am,
developing my nature, as much as I can.
I can tell you something that you may not know before,
I had a life of censorship and headed for the door.
I had a great deal of abuse and many tragedies,
my life has qualified me to say what I want, with ease.
After what I’ve been through, I won’t pussyfoot around,
I refuse to be afraid to ever make a sound.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Pricks with Power

A penis behaves like someone with power.
When I get close, it stands like a tower.
Aroused at the prospect of putting me down,
you get an orgasm making me frown.
You live in hope that I’ll run from the town,
you don’t approve of each verb and noun.
My work isn’t poetry, it’s a disgrace,
it’s funny how you can’t say ‘no’ to my face.
A rejection letter maintains your elation,
multiple orgasms for the nation.

You’re so conventional, such a closed mind,
I know you enjoy being very unkind.
I think you imagine your shit doesn’t stink,
or that you’ve never had sex, wink wink.
Before you ejaculate, do you restrict
all the enjoyment of being licked?
Or when you poo, do you feel ashamed
that wiping your hole is very untamed?
Oh yes, I’m the one who is vulgar and dirty,
you must remind me that I made you shirty.
My words are blunt, so the meaning is clear,
no I won’t use metaphors, I face my fear.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Potter About

I love to potter about, a hobby I can’t live without.

It comes naturally to me, and when I do it, I feel free.

To shape and mould and bake, exciting things I make.

So proud am I to be, the Queen of Pottery.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Poor You

You are so impatient, and you’re getting vexed with me
but it’s justified, as you are stressed today you see.
Because you’re a ‘professional’ you cannot kick and punch,
so when I came along, you thought you’d eat me for your lunch.

Get out your frustration, go on, spit it out at me
I love to be your toilet bowl, I have no dignity.
I’ll pretend to play along, now I am your fool
we’ll pretend that it’s okay, to let your malice rule.

Your stress gave you all the reason, that you’ll ever need,
to do these things to people, and try to make them bleed.
I have smiled in sympathy, I hope it plants a seed
when I come back tomorrow, I might see a change indeed.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Poison Pie Lady

Poison Pie lady, my god you are shady.
The way you treat everyone, you are no lady.
Openly telling me, you resent others
after the nightclub, dragging their lovers.
‘That never went on, not in my day’
What planet are you on? Are you here to stay?
Your shop is open 24 hours,
I pity anyone under your powers.
The pie I had bought, I thought it was cheese
the smell it gave off, would never please.
It turned out to be chicken and mushroom,
the next 24 hours were full of gloom.


I was so sick from it, I couldn’t twitch
it got me to thinking that you were a bitch,
is this how you punish the locals who party?
After midnight, god help all the tarty!
I think you’re a virgin, if cooking’s to go by
the way to a man’s heart, it ain’t through your pie.
I know you’re frustrated, you hate young’ uns freedom,
when they misbehave and get loud, how you hate ‘em.
They come in the shop just to tease you with malice
perhaps you deserve it, your shop is no palace.


It’s not just the pie, all the chips that you fried
were so full of sunflower oil, they had died.
I barely picked one up with my finger
‘twas dripping all over, the grease did linger.
The oil even stained the brown paper bag
now it resembles a slimy wet rag.
For others it’s easy, they’d just blame the drink
and come back next week, unable to think.
You are the vulture, to punish with hate
all the young rowdy ones who irritate.
Your day is coming, when someone will sue
this poem is telling you what you must do.


copyright@emmasharn2010

Poet

Here is a poet who is such a bore,
let me escape, I can’t take any more.
When we all clapped, I thought that was the end,
of feeling the need to act and pretend.

Just listening tortured me into a sleep,
I fell to the floor in an agonised heap.
I look around for a clear path to go,
if I’m discreet, nobody will know.
It would be wise not to stay till the end,
because if I do, I will go round the bend.

Phone Manner

Each time I find an asshole like you, I consider it material for my art.
Get yourself a patient phone manner, or is that too much of a new start?
The line went off, on and off, just as you recited a number.
I asked you to repeat, saying “Sorry” all the time.
I gave you permission to sharpen your voice.

My manner dictated how yours would become,
just as yours can dictate mine.
If I had been more confident, less apologetic,
should I have been grateful, to have a pig like you eat from my hand?
No one else except yourself, do you understand.
You are so important, and your stress gave you permission to be rude.
Go and get screwed.

Pet Rat?!

“What kind of twat would have a pet rat?
What’s wrong with keeping a dog or a cat?
Rats are horrific, their tails are creepy,
they live in sewers, ugh, they are filthy.
It makes my skin crawl, to see him right there,
look at his whiskers and teeth, and his hair!
How can you keep one? Have you gone mad?
I’ve heard of pet snakes, I thought that was bad.”


Right. Now you’ve finished, perhaps I can speak.
I stood by and listened to you for a week.
Rats are affectionate, funny and sweet,
they make me laugh, running over my feet.
I think it’s so tragic, you have a closed mind,
give them a chance, please don’t be unkind.
I know you’re afraid but there’s nothing to fear,
they are so lovely, you must let them near.


I had a friend who felt the same way,
he hated the sight of them on the first day.
It took a while, but now he’s a fan,
My little rats have made him a man.
You don’t believe me, you still have that fear,
with tiny steps, that will disappear.
As you watch them live their lives every day,
you’ll never believe you could love them this way.


You don’t realise what you’re missing out on,
After a while you’ll be dying to get one.
It’s just a phobia, I understand,
let this one come out, and sit on your hand.
He’s more scared of you, but he’ll never bite,
give yourself the chance to get over your fright.
They’re very clean, and they groom each other
I’m proud to admit that I’m a rat lover.
They sit on my shoulder, and I kiss their cheek.
You’d never believe that a rat is so meek.


When I have food, they run up to the cage,
they cling to the bars, they can’t wait, at this stage.
Whiskers are twitching, noses are sniffing,
their eyes are glowing, as they are waiting.
Long fat bellies revealed as they stand,
taking the food right out of my hand.
Protecting their treats, like it’s their last day,
by snatching and grabbing, and turning away.


They know my voice whenever I speak,
It’s music to my ears, when I hear them squeak.
They’re only big mouses, no need to get frantic,
hysterically funny, watch every antic.
See how they’re using their tails to swing,
climbing down bars is a treacherous thing.
Rotating them round in the air to find grip,
their tails are like extra feet, if they slip.


Look at them scampering, paws in the air,
warm faces nuzzle your fingers right there.
They show their intelligence every day,
each one is different, in their own way.
Ziggy is placid, and gets pushed about
Badger is next in line for his shout.
Scholar is bigger, so he wins the day,
that’s how the rules work, it easy this way.


Boxing like men, inside a ring,
they never see you, or notice a thing.
They’re too absorbed in their battle of wits,
as they roll over each other in fits.
Head to head, they both want their own way,
they battle for dominance every day.
Their decision is questioned by one smaller rat,
he isn’t happy, he won’t accept that.
He sneaks up behind him, and gives him a shove,
as he spins around, there’s no sign of their love.


He takes the challenge, and pounces upon him
there’s lots of noise, as they are disputing.
‘Are you still the boss?’ That’s what he’s checking,
now you can watch as he gets a decking.
‘I am the master’. To prove it, he bites.
This is typical of their fights.
Pinned on his back, the other leans over
makes himself bigger, broadens his shoulder.
They freeze and go rigid, they’re sensing the mood,
reading intentions, one will get screwed.


There’s only one winner, as they fight for hours,
once it’s established, they give up their powers.
Their bit of frisking made them feel alive,
they’d have to be strong, or who would survive?
When it’s all over, they’re quiet as a mouse,
behaving like there was no fight in their house.
Never a grudge so important to keep,
they snuggle together as they sleep.
l sang their praises, remember my song,
keeping a pet rat can never be wrong.

Persuasion

Why are you determined, to get me to agree
to all the things that you suggest, by dominating me?
I have to watch you carefully, how stupid can I be,
if you don’t give up, you’ll see the nasty side of me.
This game that you are playing, has very nearly worked
but then my instinct rescued me, when I became so irked.
You prompted me to answer, with the words you want to hear,
so I respond with silence, hoping I make myself clear.

This gives you the go ahead, to step it up a gear
I know you are ignoring me, it’s adding to my fear.
I try my very hardest, not to let you near,
I fight off every point you make, I cannot let you steer.
You’ve done this to others, it isn’t only me,
You’ve had your chance to practise, now you do it perfectly.
Why you take your victims, is anybody’s guess,
but as I slipped right through your net, you didn’t have success!

Party On!

I study Social Science to see how people tick,
I meet a range of people, from the healthy to the sick.
I may end up doing the best job of them all,
helping people out there, who have had a life so cruel.

I’ve had a great work placement, with a lot of friendly staff,
a good thing to look back on, and at least we had a laugh.
It takes dedication to study my degree,
a well earned celebration is on its way to me!

Old Hope

The aroma of cigarettes lingers,

there’s stains all over her fingers.

Her face in wrinkles and folds,

a hint of herself, the youthful girl

still shows despite the trauma.

Until her death, nothing really

can destroy the former.

Oh God

Oh God, I am afraid of you, and of the things they say you’ll do.
It’s hard to put my trust in you, if I’m made to think it’s true.
If you are kind how can you do, the dreadful things that come from you?
The Armageddon, and hellfire, these religions go haywire,
threatening that we will die, apparently today’s ‘goodbye’.
When we are dead, we’ll find out then, who was right, or wrong again.
Why worry, when we’re still alive, as they are seeking to deprive.
So in the meantime, go away, with your theories and hell pay,
innocent I know I am, no need to listen to your sham.

The fear of putting one foot wrong, in case I never hear God’s song.
Where’s the glory of his love, the sweetness in his heart above,
the comfort of your faith in him, to ease your mind from feeling grim?
While I’m here just listening, to dreadful tales of unknown sin
no longer am I feeling free, intelligence must disagree.
A normal life I want to lead, for peace of mind, I beg and plead.
So brainwashed, that my soul is hit, a happy heart, now full of grit.
My eyes that should belong to me, are blinded, so that I won’t see.
Their poison’s nearly killing me, but intuition sets me free.

No Money

Life with no money is not very funny,
when you can’t afford much at all,
you work for a living, but with some misgiving,
you realise that you are a fool.
There’s nothing in wages, you spent it in stages,
but you took none for yourself,
The rent took the most, now you can’t afford toast,
what must it be like to have wealth?
You got really ill when you saw the bill,
for fuel that you weren’t home to use,
You’re a slave to the country, you just want to run free,
you wonder what you’ve got to lose.

Nice Bath

Oh what a bath, it feels so nice, I could nearly take one twice.

Even though I do not stink, I soak my skin until it’s pink.

As I lay back with a sigh, I never want to say goodbye.

Now I hyperventilate, with the moisture it’s too late.

I huff and puff and get out fast, already too much time has passed.

My Condolences

Nothing I can say or do

will take the pain away from you.

I will try to lift the cloud

and really do our friendship proud!

SPOOF on Gloria Gaynor's song: 'I Will Survive'!

It Will Arrive!

First I was afraid, I was petrified,
I was trying hard to poo, when the door opened wide.
I should have closed that stupid lock, because now everyone can see
if I had known for one more second,
then I would’ve held my pee.
Go on now go, walk out the door,
I was feeling all relaxed, but I’m not certain anymore.
I know you ran away, but I am very shy,
I feel so humble, how can I hold my head up high?


Now you’ve seen me, I’m on the loo,
I’m just a frightened little person too afraid to poo.
The muscle’s tight now, it will take a little while
but I’m resigned, this time I’ll do it with a smile.
It took all the strength I had, to hold onto my fart,
I thought I’d never get to finish what I had to start.
My piles are high, it really hurts, I want to cry
but I won’t grumble, I’ll have another try.


I push some more, it must be glue,
‘There’s no way it’s coming out it’s stuck inside of you’.
I have to reassure myself that it will soon be running free,
if I carry on like this, I think they’ll call the police on me.
There’s a queue, outside the door,
I’m feeling scared now, my feet have gone numb on the floor.
My cheeks are frozen and they’re hurting from the seat,
will I retreat, will I give up and try no more?


I’m asking you, can you help me?
Is there a doctor anywhere it’s hurting dreadfully.
Some cream and pessaries will help me to feel calm,
hand me the balm, I’m panic stricken with alarm.
Hang on a second now, I think it’s on its way,
thank God for that, I didn’t want to spend another day.
The queue’s impatient now, they’re banging on the door,
and up I’m jumping, I feel lighter than before!

While You’re Under My Roof

You’ll keep on using violence, as long as I don’t leave,
controlling every move I make, and even how I breathe.
No, I don’t ‘heave sighs’ at you, I wouldn’t even dare,
it’s just that when you frighten me, I’m coming up for air.

Yes I know, I didn’t ask permission just to breathe,
I am so frustrated, all I want to do is leave.
While I am so young, I must live under your regime,
I’m scared to look inside your ears, in case I see the steam.

Every little thing I do, triggers your bad mood,
the only thing you do for me is cook my daily food.
Dinner’s hard to swallow, when I am being hurried,
I always step on egg shells, when I feel sick and worried.

Intimidation

Boy racer, how you stare at me
with your eyes on the road.
Seems to be impossible,
why are you such a toad?
Your bony face aggressive
as you pass me in your car.
With your eyes out the window,
how did you get this far?
Your eyes should be on the road
not staring passer’s by.

We need permission to be here
I have a question, ‘Why?’
Oh pretty please, yes here I stand,
no, you don’t know me.
I hold a stranger’s license,
so now, will you let me be?
For God’s sake just stop staring,
you are getting on my nerves.
It’s a wonder you don’t crash your car
when speeding round those curves.

When Assholes Rule

As I carried my happy bunch of Valentine’s roses, given to me with love
I felt pangs of sorrow, knowing what my room mate had suffered,
at the hands of a man I don’t care to know.
He sent her a card and roses, to celebrate
ten years of appalling abuse, that would turn your face blue.
Tying her to the bed, arms above her head,
forced his cock into her mouth, as she tried to scream and gagged.
At the same time he burned her chest and wrists with his cigarette,
turned on by her cries of fear, no breath to shed a tear.
She tears off her vest to show me her chest,
the round right scars too many to count, but it’s not about the amount.
Here on the table she proudly displays, the Valentine’s gift of her torturer.
A sinister reminder of the fact she still remains his victim.

Ups and Downs

Oh penis, won’t you face the wall, I can’t get you up at all,

you make me feel like a fool, when you shrink and won’t stand tall.

The mood has gone as you won’t perk, now you’re driving me berserk,

my partner’s trying not to laugh, she gave up, now she’s in the bath.

Fear explains the reason why, he will not point towards the sky,

look away and let him be, give him back his dignity.

Allow him to dangle free, he'll never be ashamed of me.

Indian Restaurant

An Indian restaurant, how very nice
others wouldn’t look at it twice.
They say ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’,
so I went inside, dragging my lover.
I should’ve been warned, there was no-one in there
as we’re given our table I’m full of despair.
It feels like a graveyard, I’m too scared to sneeze
as we get stared at, I’m eager to please.
I feel we’re on stage now, receiving attention
I just hope the food is worth a mention.
When it arrives I’m so sad to be right,
it looks more like a pile of shite.

Cow dung would give more steam on the table
It looks like their microwave just wasn’t able.
Avoiding the bits of unheated curry
The small pools of oil make me want to hurry.
The sooner I finish, the quicker I leave,
from this bad food there’s no reprieve.
I turn to the rice in the hope that it’s better,
instead I can see that it’s shiny and wetter.
As I dig under, I see lots more oil
good food they really know how to spoil.
I feel like a fool, I got caught in here
previous customers won’t come near.

Under My Thumb

Under my thumb, there’s no need to feel glum,
I’ll make your life hell, and there's nowhere to run.
My paranoia is making you ill,
torturing you is my greatest thrill.
Go to the bedroom and stay quiet for hours,
I will remove every one of your powers.

Except how your mind works, I can’t alter that,
I ask what you’re thinking, but your voice is flat.
I cannot get more from you than I can take,
hidden are your thoughts that you won’t forsake.
So my frustration gets bigger each day,
with every tactic, I find a new way.
There is only so much I can do,
one thing I can’t force, is your love from you.

Two Minutes

By using me for a two minute shag,
you made me feel like a dirty ole hag.
You spent as little as you could inside
you got on and off, like a fairground ride.
My complaint is really not about time
it’s not about having orgasms sublime.
It’s not that you’re premature, tired or weak
or not in the mood any day of the week.
It’s the lack of affection as you turn away
after using my body for your play.

The lack of eye contact, or even a smile
the way I am treated after is vile.
I get the feeling you don’t even like me
let alone love me, you just want to ‘bike’ me.
In future I think I shall just leave the room
so I can avoid the bang and boom.
Surely you’re better off with your hand,
you don’t have to lie to it, I understand
that I’m just a free shag and there was no price
except for my feelings, it just wasn’t nice.

Hypocrisy

Depending on the context of the swear words that you say,
you are hypocritical and change your mind each day.
Now you’ve turned your nose up, and you judge me if I swear
if someone did the same to you, would you think that was fair?
You don’t know I can see your face, your eyes dash to the side
I know you are judgemental, and definitely snide.
Before you’ve heard the rest of what I say, and how I mean
you’ve jumped to your conclusions, but the end you haven’t seen.

I know you are a hypocrite, I’m sure that you do swear
if you’re angry you must say ‘Fuck you’, and do not care.
Yet I can well imagine, that you find it hard to say
‘Let’s fuck’, and ‘Can I fuck you’ as they’re meant a different way.
You’re probably quite censored, and you live in self-repression
you wouldn’t tell somebody what you mean, you’d keep them guessing.
So when you see that I am free, to say just what I choose
you’re jealous and annoyed, that I have guts and I’m no prude.
Perhaps you’ll take a lesson from the honesty in me,
instead of hating what I say, you should learn to be free.

Time Bomb

The body has effective ways of closing off the pain,

it buries all the memories that I won’t need again.

Even at the time, they were an awful lot to bear,

that’s why they won’t come out, and give me another scare.

Until I can recall them, I’m not able to move on,

they weren’t buried deep enough for their smell to have gone.

I get the whiff of rotting food, but where’s it coming from?

The bin is clean, the bag is fresh, but I can smell a bomb.

Threesome

Although I have a boyfriend, there’s a girl who shares our bed.
She is young and pretty, and she’s good enough to wed.
She’s great fun to play with, when we tease her under covers,
she likes to sleep between us, though she knows that we are lovers.
She has a knicker fetish, every time she tears them off me,
as I watch her sniffing them, I wonder if it’s healthy.
She needs to shave, whenever I look down she’s really hairy,
she doesn’t like to have a bath, she’s getting very smelly.

I hesitate to tell her that we need to make some rules,
when it comes to private time, she’s taking us for fools.
As I go to the toilet, she likes to smell the air,
when I’m sitting on it, she comes in to stare.
It’s too late to change her now, we let it go too long,
she will think it isn’t fair that what she does is wrong.
To her it’s very normal, she will think we’re being strange,
we should thank our lucky stars she doesn’t carry mange.
Anyone with sense would tell us, that is what you get,
when you decide to keep a little doggie as a pet!

Housing Associations

An agency for housing is a place that’s great indeed,
they run a service to assist all those in times of need.
Their job is full of challenges, they’re never praised enough,
they face so many setbacks that are making it so tough.

Yet they try their hardest, and they do what they are able,
to set somebody on the road to making their life stable.
So we must give a thank you for the help that they will give,
to help somebody to improve the way that they can live.

Suicide

Let’s talk about suicide, although it’s not nice

I have tried to kill myself twice.

Unhappy feelings were all that prevailed

Escape from abuse was gone when it failed.

They spent my whole life keeping me down

Every attack gave me reason to frown.

It made me feel old with all of the strife

So I turned from abusers and lived my own life.

The Big Secret

Oh help, the kiddies want to know just how they came about.
This is a conversation we can really do without.
Now begins a lifetime of ridiculous denial,
we search for explanations that to us will not sound vile.
This dreadful dirty act that we keep doing with a smile?
The same thing we are scared of now, as if we are on trial?

Little do they know that this daft attitude won’t end.
When they're older it will be their turn to pretend,
that no one ever does it, and it must have been a dream,
and judging by the babies born, nobody is keen.
We find it harder to relate to kids that go to school,
we drift into a silence and we take them for a fool.
The facts will not disturb them, it is us who squirm in pain,
we try to keep them innocent, our efforts are in vain.

House Sharing

Sharing a house is a nightmare for me,
I am lacking my own privacy.
The landlord has taken us all for fools,
he never mentioned the thin paper walls.
I’m sharing with strangers who I cannot stand,
they seem to consume every part of the land.
Noisy at night, and even in bed,
hearing them doing what’s private instead.

Even the bathroom we all have to share,
if someone farted, then you should beware.
As for the kitchen, it’s so hard to cook,
it’s tiny and cluttered and dirty, just look.
Our wonderful landlord has just raised the rent,
asking for wages I already spent.
Having my own place is vital to me,
is it to much to ask to keep my sanity?

Silence Isn’t Golden

I was quiet for a while, my paedophile,
but now nothing takes away my happy smile.
Oh sorry, did you want to crush me forever,
or were you hoping we’d still be together?
A one sided lover, you have no shame,
there is no question of who is to blame.

Finally there is an end to your game,
this is a tiger that you cannot tame.
What do you mean, now you are sorry?
I want to run over you with a lorry.
Must I protect you and your sordid story?
I am the only one thinking it’s gory!
Bring your head up, and look me in the eye,
your crocodile tears do not qualify.

Swap Genders

What would it be like, if we could swap genders?
Women would spend their time fixing car fenders.
The men could be experts on using our blenders,
if they cannot use them, they’d be great pretenders.
They’d stay in the kitchen and never come out,
find out what slavery’s really about.
The time of the month, twelve times a year,
push in that tampon, there’s nothing to fear.
Writhing in pain and shedding a tear,
if you need help, I’m not coming near.
Your period pain is really a curse,
are you feeling miserable? It’ll get worse.


Put on these high heels, for a night out,
the blisters they give you, are making you shout.
Oops, you fell over, oh sorry, it’s funny!
You’re hopping along, now you look like a bunny.
You don’t want to touch me, since we went to bed.
You think that you’re still a man, in your head,
now you feel horrified touching my parts.
Can you smell the sheets? They’re full of my farts!


Oh bend over baby, I’ll go from behind,
you can swallow my sperm, if you feel inclined.
Where has your clitoris gone, is it there?
I couldn’t find it, gave up in despair.
I know you’re still horny, but I do not care,
get used to it honey, life isn’t fair.
When I’m finished early, I cannot rewind it,
after a while, you won’t even mind it.


Being a man is no fun either,
I cannot work a machine or a lever.
Women ignore me, my charms never work,
I’ve no-one to talk to, it drives me berserk.
The men I am here with, are stupid and boring,
their dull conversation has me snoring.
When I tried shaving, I cut all my face,
all day long I felt like a disgrace.
I think I’ll give up, and start growing a beard,
the rest of me seems to be hairy and weird.


I’m having a really uncomfortable day,
when I sit down, my balls get in the way.
It’s weird how it dangles, I’m not used to that.
I think I prefer having my pussy cat.
I went for a pee and it went over me,
I kept forgetting to hold it you see.
I shared a urinal with two other guys,
you should have seen their face of surprise.
I heard them snigger as they walked away,
next time a cubicle might save the day.


How does it work, when I sit down to poo?
I never thought about this part of you.
It’s swinging and touching the side of the bowl,
this is so awkward, I won’t tell a soul.
Okay, I am ready to switch back our genders,
it’s no longer fun being each others’ lenders.
I think I appreciate being myself,
playing this game is no good for my health.
Oh no, I’m the only one wanting to switch,
please give me back, you crafty ole bitch!

Holiday

My holiday at last is here,

and it’s well overdue.

I can’t wait to rest and play,

and see the sky is blue.

The sea and sand is close at hand,

so welcome, oh it’s true.

I get a chance to take a glance

at beauty, fresh and new.

Pig in Shit

I hear you complain of how you’re rotting in your shit,

but when I give you answers, you are having none of it.

Oh what will make you happy, or will your day ever come?

Until you get it sorted, you wish I could lend you some.

Take a swig of happy juice, or badger it from me,

drain me of contentment, till I am unhappy.

The energy you stole from me, should do you for a while.

When it runs out, stay away, because I think you’re vile.